I’ve seen a recurring pattern this past few days. I would count the number of times that I will have a poor encounter with someone. It does not have to be a person I know, but just a tally of the people giving me grief on particular day.
Say for example, yesterday. From the moment I woke up, up to the point that I sit down on my chair at work, I tallied about 15 encounters. Out of the 15, 8 or 9 were negative encounters. The rest were posiitive, or average, at the very least it was not unpleasant.
So what is a negative encounter? It can be as simple as someone cutting you in line, or that bus driver doing a trollface when you ran up to the bus stop only for him to close the doors and leave when you get there. In my case, it was a bit worse than that. I won’t go into the detail as that’s not the reason why I’m posting this.
Striking the Balance
I always believe that what we do during trying times shows our worth as a human being. It could be quite the challenge when everything isn’t going your way. It’s never easy.
Getting used to the pressure is one thing, letting it happen all the time is another. What I have tried to do is to learn from each encounter. The first thing that comes to mind when I get a silly encounter is “Why is this person being horrible to me?”. From there making a decision on how to handle things is quite easy, most of the time.
Usually, this person is just passing a negative encounter they’ve experienced themselves. They do this unknowingly. There are various tell-tale signs that you can use to find out if this is the case. Sometimes a little probing will give many answers. “How’s your morning going?” or “How are you doing today?”. Your delivery is of importance, you don’t want to sound like you’re asking the question just for the sake of asking it.
In my experience this past week, the reason was more personal. We recently lost a colleague in the office, and it was a shock to all of us. His death came as a shock, and truth be told, I wasn’t close to the guy, but I miss his presence already. He was a part of the office, part of the family. Today was his funeral, and as much as I wanted to go, I’m never good in situations like that. I opted to distract myself.
So for the first reason, it’s a negative emotion that they usually received from someone else, or from an event that causes stress and sadness in itself. What’s the second reason why someone would treat you horribly?
It’s simple really: They are naturally horrible. There’s no two ways about it. There is almost nothing that you can do to change the way they are. It’s like the “stupid people” argument. They try to drag you down to their level, and beat you with experience.
With these kind of people, the solution is much easier: I just leave them to it. I will not spend a moment longer with them that I have to. I will LEAVE them as they are and will not get involved as much as possible.
These kind of people will drag you down. They will try to inject you with some negativity that in some cases might cost you your job. You do not want these kind of people around you.
Going back to the main topic at hand. Striking the balance between these encounters is all about getting some positive encounters to counter the negative ones.
I wrote this post not only because I am sharing something that you may find useful, but in hoping that you in turn can provide me with ways of getting some positivity my way. At the moment I feel like I am running on empty, with the score heavily in favor of the negative side.
Please feel free to drop some comments, or drop me a message on Twitter http://twitter.com/opethian or on Google+ http://gplus.to/opethian if you have some ideas on what to do.